As I vegged out on my couch watching NFL football all day on Sunday, it
struck me that this was the best part of my week. I was in a happy place. Why? Well, it certainly wasn't because of the game that was on the screen in front of me.
1. The Beer:Sports Ratio
own to dip your nacho or take a swig of beer can be disastrous, causing you to miss a key moment or a highlight reel play. So we wait. We wait until whistles, timeouts, commercial breaks – those 30 second breaks where we can quickly munch our hot dogs and wash it down with beer – and then it's back to business, back to the game.If you don't see where this is going, let me explain: what's the average length of a play in football? 10 seconds? That's being generous. That's a long bomb touchdown pass from Payton Manning to Austin Collie including the 10 yard run into the end zone. Football is actually the reverse of all other sports – the gameplay simply serves as a timeout from the drinking. And boy do North Americans love their drinking.
2. It's all a ruse!
"Sorry Honey, we can't go shopping for new duvet covers today, even though I know we need them. I'm watching sports with the guys."
Sure you are, you average North American male. What a great excuse to sit around with the boys, shooting the shit, drinking, and doing nothing. On Sundays, we return to our days of college bliss – back when we had hours to waste away and no one nagging us to do errands. Female readers: disregard this paragraph, please.
Let's be honest – of the NFL games we watch, how many do we really care about? Oh sure, we've all picked a team we claim to follow, and we cheer louder when they make a good play, but do we really care at the end of the day? Cowboys fans are a dime a dozen, but there are probably 10,000 die-hard fans whose mood will still be affected that night if they lose. Most football fans only care because they've got money on some outcome. They're not upset or excited about the SCORE, they're getting emotional over the money!
3. A Gambler's Paradise
Which brings us to the last point: there are a million things to bet on in a football gam
e, and boy do we take advantage of them. Who will win the coin toss, who will score the first touchdown, what will the score be at the end of the first quarter, who will make the first sack, the possibilities are endless in this game. When we're hooting and hollering in front of the set, it's because we're either making money or losing money. We don't care that much about the teams! Why is it not the same when we're watching hockey? There's no time for bets! We can barely make it to the bathroom and back during a commercial break, let alone propose a bet, decide on odds, decide on the wager, and shake on it.
So there you go – when it comes to competing with the NFL juggernaut in North America, other sports are quite simply out of their league.
Come to the states. Watch a game while you are here and you, my friend, will notice that this is a very serious sport. Feel the NFL juggernaut!