As I vegged out on my couch watching NFL football all day on Sunday, it struck me that this was the best part of my week. I was in a happy place. Why? Well, it certainly wasn't because of the game that was on the screen in front of me.

The NFL is the most popular sport in North America, and I believe I've finally figured out why. Here are the 3 simple reasons:

1. The Beer:Sports Ratio

When watching a riveting game like hockey or basketball, a spectator is glued to the game. A quick look down to dip your nacho or take a swig of beer can be disastrous, causing you to miss a key moment or a highlight reel play. So we wait. We wait until whistles, timeouts, commercial breaks – those 30 second breaks where we can quickly munch our hot dogs and wash it down with beer – and then it's back to business, back to the game.

If you don't see where this is going, let me explain: what's the average length of a play in football? 10 seconds? That's being generous. That's a long bomb touchdown pass from Payton Manning to Austin Collie including the 10 yard run into the end zone. Football is actually the reverse of all other sports – the gameplay simply serves as a timeout from the drinking. And boy do North Americans love their drinking.

2. It's all a ruse!

"Sorry Honey, we can't go shopping for new duvet covers today, even though I know we need them. I'm watching sports with the guys."

Sure you are, you average North American male. What a great excuse to sit around with the boys, shooting the shit, drinking, and doing nothing. On Sundays, we return to our days of college bliss – back when we had hours to waste away and no one nagging us to do errands. Female readers: disregard this paragraph, please.

Let's be honest – of the NFL games we watch, how many do we really care about? Oh sure, we've all picked a team we claim to follow, and we cheer louder when they make a good play, but do we really care at the end of the day? Cowboys fans are a dime a dozen, but there are probably 10,000 die-hard fans whose mood will still be affected that night if they lose. Most football fans only care because they've got money on some outcome. They're not upset or excited about the SCORE, they're getting emotional over the money!

3. A Gambler's Paradise

Which brings us to the last point: there are a million things to bet on in a football game, and boy do we take advantage of them. Who will win the coin toss, who will score the first touchdown, what will the score be at the end of the first quarter, who will make the first sack, the possibilities are endless in this game. When we're hooting and hollering in front of the set, it's because we're either making money or losing money. We don't care that much about the teams! Why is it not the same when we're watching hockey? There's no time for bets! We can barely make it to the bathroom and back during a commercial break, let alone propose a bet, decide on odds, decide on the wager, and shake on it.

So there you go – when it comes to competing with the NFL juggernaut in North America, other sports are quite simply out of their league.

Peter Forsberg will not be coming back to the NHL this year, TSN reported on Monday, but he may yet attempt to make a comeback for the 2010-11 season. If he manages to make it happen, it will be Forsberg’s third time returning from retirement.

We intercepted this email written from the NFL’s Brett Favre to Forsberg yesterday morning:



From: Brett Favre <agelesswonder@hotmail.com>
To: Peter Forsberg <foppa@yahoo.com>
Sent: Monday, November 16, 2009 11:03:56 AM
Subject: comeback…

Pete,

I heard that you’re trying to complete the comeback hat-trick like me! Well here’s some advice: pick a goddam good team - one that’s got great young talent. Just look how great Adrian Peterson is making me look here in Minnesota. The guy is unstoppable, and I’m getting all the credit in the world!

I hear that Ovechkin kid’s pretty good, why don’t you try to be on his team? Or Crosby? Just do what I do – hand it off and let em run! I tell you, these kids are scared of old guys like us, so just yell at em to giver!

Hey, is there anything better than a retirement press conference? And the highlight pack of your career that ESPN puts together? I can’t wait for that again this year. Makes me teary eyed just thinkin about it.

Good luck pal,
Brett

I am a born and bred Canadian from Vancouver, BC. I love my hockey, it is a part of me. I’ve been raised watching the B.C. Lions and Vancouver Canucks, and I’m a die hard fan, no matter who’s on the rosters and how little success they have. So why the hell should I care about the NFL – the south of the border football league?

I guess it’s the same reason I love watching golf, tennis or even basketball, the personalities and the storylines. Tiger Woods against Phil Mickleson, Roger Federer versus Rafael Nadal – when they play, I watch, in the hopes that I may witness that rare unforgettable sports moment.

I am not in an NFL Fantasy Pool, so I’m not personally invested in any of the individual or team results, yet every year there are story lines that make me want to sit down and watch. Two years ago, after head coach, Bill Belichick, was caught and reprimanded for cheating – spying on other teams practices – his New England Patriots, led by quarterback Tom Brady, attempted to complete a perfect 19-0 season, with zero losses and a Superbowl championship. Every week, as they inched closer to the goal, the drama heightened and more and more tuned in. That same season, Brett Favre was playing in what everyone presumed would be his last season following an amazing career, and he was having a renaissance with the team, finally producing a winning season after a long down cycle. Favre’s apparent last games as a pro football player were watched by all, as he took the 13-3 Packers to the NFC Championship against the eventual Superbowl Winners – the New York Giants.

As another season is almost set to begin, the NFL has produced more storylines than ever. Favre comes out of retirement for the second time in two years to play for the Minnesota Vikings, allowing him to face his former Green Bay Packers for two revenge filled matches. Chad Ocho-Cinco (he officially changed his name from Chad Johnson last year) has demanded a trade for 2 years from the Cincinatti Bengals, and yet the loudest trash talker in sports is set to return to the team. Terrell Owens will be given yet another chance to be a good teammate for the Buffalo Bills, after three failed attempts with former squads. And of course Michael Vick, he who funded an illegal dog-fighting chain and allegedly participated in the torture and killing of many of the animals, is returning to play for the Philadelphia Eagles. Drama like this can’t be found anywhere else on television, not on Big Brother, Gossip Girl, or even The Hills!

But I am Canadian and I care not for the NFL. I will only watch about 8 hours of that crap every week.

On August 18, 2009, Brett Favre signed a contract with the Minnesota Vikings, confirming that he would once again be coming out of retirement to play yet another year in the NFL.

Although he is unequivocally one of the best quarterbacks of all time, Favre’s legacy will likely not be dominated by his many records and on-field achievements; rather, the memories will be tainted by his antics between seasons. To the NFL, Favre has degenerated into an attention seeking, egocentric personality, who appears only to be happy when all eyes are on him. Let’s take a quick look at Favre’s retirement history:

2005-2006

It all began four years ago: following a disappointing 2005 season with the Green Bay Packers, on January 30, 2006, Favre told ESPN, “"If I had to pick right now and make a decision, I'd say I'm not coming back."

In an abrupt turnaround, on April 25, 2006, he announced that he would be returning for another year while intoning that the 2006 season would likely be it. But on May 6, 2006, he announced in a press conference that he had not ruled out the possibility of returning past the season.

2006-2007

The 2006 year was another disappointment, and on December 31, 2006, following their last match, Favre was non-committal in a TV interview. "If today's my last game," he said, "I want to remember it. It's tough. It's tough. I'll miss these guys, I'll miss this game."

It did not take long for Favre to quickly take that one back – on February 2, 2007, he formally announced that he would be returning yet again.

2007-2008

Favre led the Packers to an NFC title season and a 13-3 record, showing that he still had some good football left in him.

On March 4, 2008, Favre held an emotionally charged, tear-filled news conference in which he finally formally retired from the NFL, saying that he didn’t have “anything left to give.”

Only four months later, in July, it was reported that Favre is revisiting the idea of returning to the Packers. In a July 14, 2008, interview with Fox News’ Greta Van Susteren, Favre said he was "guilty of retiring early," that he was "never fully committed" to retirement, and that he was pressured by the Packers to make a decision. Unfortunately for him, the Packers were ready to move on and pass the title of starting quarterback to first round draft pick, Aaron Rodgers.

2008-2009

After reporting to training camp, The Green Bay Packers met with Favre and both sides agreed that he would not return to the team. This led to a trade on August 7, 2008 that handed Favre to the New York Jets.

On February 11, 2009, Favre informed the Jets that he would be retiring after 18 seasons, this time calling it “the real deal.” And in an interview on ESPN on February 13, he stated that “there’s no way” he would return for another year. Two months later, when the Jets granted him an unconditional release from the team, Favre reiterated that he has “no intention of returning to football.”

2009

In June, rumours surfaced of Favre having discussions with the Minnesota Vikings about a possible return. He verified this information in an interview on HBO on June 15.

Thankfully Favre ended the speculation quickly, and on July 28, 2009, he told the team that he would not be returning, in what was “the hardest decision” he ever made.

Then, in what came as a surprise to everyone, on August 18, 2009 Brett Favre signed a deal with the Minnesota Vikings, officially agreeing to come out of retirement once again, and play at least one more year.

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell wishes his players would hit people with sticks. Imagine the headline, “Plaxico Burress strikes himself in the leg with concealed crowbar.”

Vancouver Canuck Alex Burrows is facing possible charges for hitting a goaltender with his stick in a Montreal summer league game. This is an NHL headline today.

Burrows probably wishes he played in the NFL, where newsworthy items include Burress shooting himself at a club with his own gun last year; Pacman Jones allegedly smashing a stripper’s head into the stage in just one of his numerous altercations; Michael Vick bankrolling a dog fighting operation; and fights at nightclubs happening weekly.

Amidst NFL stories, Burrows’ stick infraction would hardly turn a head. Unfortunately for him, he plays in the NHL in Canada, where players are disparaged for declining to sign an autograph let alone breaking the law.

“Terrell Owens wants NFL to Reinstate Michael Vick,” reads one of the headlines on the TSN.ca website. The article explains that Owens believes Vick is deserving of a second chance after being imprisoned for two years for bankrolling a dogfighting operation.

After reading this, the question is, does Terrell Owens actually hate Michael Vick? Certainly any support from one of the NFL’s most controversial players can only hurt Vick’s cause, and it definitely carries no weight. Owens is not one of the game’s ambassadors, or even a respected individual. He has been a cancer to every dressing room he’s ever stepped into, a fact that is well known throughout the sporting world.

According to the article, published by the Canadian Press, Owens would also welcome Vick as a teammate. Wouldn’t that be splendid? A quarterback who would rather run with the ball himself than throw it to someone else, and a receiver who throws tantrums any time he’s not thrown to, plus the fact that they’re both apparently mentally unstable. Actually, that could possibly be the most entertaining thing we’ve ever seen in football, and it wouldn’t be surprising if it became the most watched team in the league.

Next week on TSN.ca: “O.J. Simpson Thinks Plaxico Burress Should Serve No Jail Time.” Ok, maybe that’s going too far.

Brett Favre, caught in an every day conversation with his wife:

Mrs. Favre: Honey, I'm making steak for dinner, would you like corn or potatoes on the side?

Brett Favre: Oh... I don't know... I can't make up my mind..

MF: Brett, I need to know because potatoes take time!

Brett: Aw geez, I need some time to think this over!

1 hour later:
MF: Brett, we're eating in 20 minutes! If you want potatoes, I need to know NOW!

Brett: After carefully considering my options, I have come to a decision.

MF: Just tell me already!

Brett: It is with a heavy heart that I announce we will not be having potatoes with dinner tonight. Salad is the healthy choice.

During dinner:
Brett: Stop eating everyone! I've realized that steak is just not the same without potatoes! Therefore, I would like to announce that we are putting this dinner on hold for as long as it takes to make us some spuds!

Dear Faithful Readers,

I just want to let you all know that this is not solely a Vancouver Canucks site. I am, admitedly, a hardcore Canucks fan, and as such, when my team is in the playoffs, it is hard to focus on anything else. However, I aim to attack a number of issues and write on an array of sports including tennis, golf, basketball, maybe a little football, and of course hockey. I am going to post at least every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, but hopefully more than that, so please check back often.

Regards,

Omar