NFL commissioner Roger Goodell wishes his players would hit people with sticks. Imagine the headline, “Plaxico Burress strikes himself in the leg with concealed crowbar.”

Vancouver Canuck Alex Burrows is facing possible charges for hitting a goaltender with his stick in a Montreal summer league game. This is an NHL headline today.

Burrows probably wishes he played in the NFL, where newsworthy items include Burress shooting himself at a club with his own gun last year; Pacman Jones allegedly smashing a stripper’s head into the stage in just one of his numerous altercations; Michael Vick bankrolling a dog fighting operation; and fights at nightclubs happening weekly.

Amidst NFL stories, Burrows’ stick infraction would hardly turn a head. Unfortunately for him, he plays in the NHL in Canada, where players are disparaged for declining to sign an autograph let alone breaking the law.

“Terrell Owens wants NFL to Reinstate Michael Vick,” reads one of the headlines on the TSN.ca website. The article explains that Owens believes Vick is deserving of a second chance after being imprisoned for two years for bankrolling a dogfighting operation.

After reading this, the question is, does Terrell Owens actually hate Michael Vick? Certainly any support from one of the NFL’s most controversial players can only hurt Vick’s cause, and it definitely carries no weight. Owens is not one of the game’s ambassadors, or even a respected individual. He has been a cancer to every dressing room he’s ever stepped into, a fact that is well known throughout the sporting world.

According to the article, published by the Canadian Press, Owens would also welcome Vick as a teammate. Wouldn’t that be splendid? A quarterback who would rather run with the ball himself than throw it to someone else, and a receiver who throws tantrums any time he’s not thrown to, plus the fact that they’re both apparently mentally unstable. Actually, that could possibly be the most entertaining thing we’ve ever seen in football, and it wouldn’t be surprising if it became the most watched team in the league.

Next week on TSN.ca: “O.J. Simpson Thinks Plaxico Burress Should Serve No Jail Time.” Ok, maybe that’s going too far.