Tiger Learns from Usain Bolt

On the morning of Sunday August 16th, two of the worlds premier athletes were preparing. Tiger Woods held the three round lead at the PGA Championship and was planning to win his 15th golf Major, while Usain Bolt was setting up to once again be the world’s fastest man. Bolt, the boisterous Jamaican, knowing that Woods has conquered that pressure countless times in his career, placed a telephone call to him that morning, and here is a transcript:


Tiger Woods: Usain. How do you feel?

Usain Bolt: Hey Tiger man! Yah man, I’m feelin’ great. How about you? How you feelin’?

TW: Fine. Just concentrating. Visualizing. Focusing.

UB: Tiger man, why you always lookin’ so angry on the golf course? Relax man! Be more like a Jamaican and just enjoy life! When someone yells “in the hole!” after you tee off on 600 yard hole, turn around and point him out to everyone, so they can all laugh at his dumb ass.

TW: I don’t think so. I have to stay emotionless and in the moment. And I always have to think about my next shot.

UB: Emotionless man? You look like you wanna kill someone out there! Anyways, I have a huge race today. The whole world is gonna be watchin’. How do I handle the pressure?

TW: Just put the spectators out of your mind. Concentrate on what you need to do. You can smile and celebrate after the race is over.

UB: But Tiger, I want to have fun! I love talking and joking with the people before I run!

TW: Geez, you sound like Phil Mickleson. I hate playing golf with him.

UB: Hey! Don’t compare me to that choker! Ok, so what are you gonna do if you win today? You need a signature pose, man!

TW: Signature pose? I don’t have any ideas for that.

UB: No worries man! You can use mine!

TW: Ok maybe I will. Thanks Usain. Good luck today.


Unfortunately Tiger didn’t win the PGA Championship, but we did catch him practicing: