On Tuesday November 10, the NHL General Managers began two days of meetings. Publicly, we have heard that the focal point of discussion on day one was the trapezoid behind the goaltenders’ nets. Day two was spent talking about headshots. 
Really TSN experts, do you mean to tell me that the 30 most powerful men in hockey met for two days and all they discussed was a strange four sided shape from geometry class and the same head shot topic that has been talked about since Eric Lindros’ first concussion in 1972?
Luckily, Head to the Net had the meeting room bugged and we found out what really happened:
First, the room is fairly large, and there is a boxing ring situated right at the centre. NHL types believe that a good fist fight is a healthy self-policing method, or sometimes it can be used to switch momentum in negotiations – thus the need for the ring.
On Tuesday morning, Mike Gillis (Vancouver Canucks) and Brian Burke (Toronto Maple Leafs) have arrived in their full boxing gear, ready for the showdown that has been brewing for months. Gillis starts the fight with a couple of quick punches to Burkie’s head. No credit should be given for this, as Burke’s head is so big it’s impossible to miss.
After taking a few blows, Burke ties Gillis up into a headlock.
Burke: give… me… the… Sedins… Mike!
Gillis: Never!
Elsewhere in the room:
Kevin Lowe (Edmonton Oilers’ President) is clinging to the edge of the ring cheering Gillis on and crying death threats at Burke.
NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman also watches from his chair, upon which he’s placed a booster seat.
Ray Shero (Pittsburgh Penguins) and George McPhee (Washington Capitals) are shooting pool
Shero: How you doing, George?
McPhee: Chillin’ bro.
Shero: I hear that. Everyone here is so stressed out, but you and I have the 4 best players in the league locked up to long term contracts. I got no problems with the NHL right now!
McPhee: Cheers to that, bro!
Conversely, Ken Holland (Detroit Red Wings), is on the phone with Steve Yzerman, analyzing the 2010 and 2011 draft prospects lists.
McPhee: Come have a beer with us, Ken! Your team is amazing already! Relax!
Holland: No.
Back at the ring, Gillis has landed a series of body blows, and Burkie’s lapdog, Dave Nonis is becoming very agitated. He pulls out his cell phone:
Nonis: Hi, Ray Emery? I need you! How soon can you been in Toronto? You have to come kick Mike Gillis’ ass.
Emery: You’re looking for the old Ray Emery, my man. I don’t fight anymore. Try calling Chris Chelios and offer him a contract – he’ll do anything to get back in the league.
At the main entrance: Don Maloney is arguing with the security guard.
Maloney: I’m supposed to be in there! You’ve got to let me in!
Security: You said your name is Don Maloney? Your name isn’t on the list, buddy. Who are you, again?
Maloney: I’m the GM of the Phoenix Coyotes! Don’t you know who I am?
Security: No, never heard of you, sir. And these “Coyotes” aren’t even on the list of recognized NHL teams. You sure you’ve got the right place?
The rest of day one continued in a similar fashion. Most of day two was spent debating whether the Toronto Maple Leafs should retain veto power in all votes going forward. They won the vote, using the veto.
According to Head to The Net’s reliable sources, Canucks’ GM Mike Gillis placed a call to Peter Forsberg, who is in Sweden, over the weekend. The following is a transcript:
Mike Gillis: Peter, we really want you to come and play for the Canucks, and I have to stress that playing in Vancouver will be really simple.
Peter Forsberg: Simple? What do you mean?
MG: For starters, we already have 4 Swedish players on the team. Last year we had 5. We’ve made Swedish our official second language, so you don’t even need to learn English if you don’t want.
PF: I lived in North America for 15 years already, Mike. I know English pretty well.
MG: Just in case you forgot, Peter! Or maybe you never liked English! It’s all up to you.
PF: Yeah, sure. Anything else?
MG: Yes. The Olympic Games are in Vancouver in February in our very own back yard – you will live within walking distance of the rink.
PF: Won’t I have to stay in the athletes’ village anyways? All players do. Really, it won’t make a difference.
MG: Crap, you saw through that one. Ok, well don’t tell Roberto or the Sedins about this, it was one of my main selling points for their new contracts. But Peter, we did completely renovate the dressing room this year, it is amazing.
PF: Don’t you have a huge roadtrip both before and after the Olympics, because of all the preparation and take-down time? I’ll never get to spend any time there anyways.
MG: How do you know all of this stuff? Don’t tell me you read the newspaper! Most players hate reading and believe everything I tell them. Signing you could be a lot harder than I thought. I guess I won’t be telling you how mild our weather is, like I told Mats last year. Boy was he upset when he realized it never stops raining.
PF: Don’t worry, my other choice is Philadelphia. If anything is more dreary than Vancouver, that’s the place. I’ll probably just flip a coin when the time comes to decide. Good luck, Mike!
Last night during the Canucks vs. Wild game, Tommy Larscheid let it be known that GM Mike Gillis is very interested in pursuing the services of Peter Forsberg for the rest of the Canucks season. Gillis spoke with Larscheid before the game, and told him that most of the Canucks’ pro-scouting staff is currently in Sweden, watching Forsberg’s progress, as he competes in an international tournament. Today, the Team 1040 radio station mentioned that Mike Gillis and Lawrence Gillman may have travelled to Sweden as well, as the Canucks are pursuing this with all they’ve got.
defensemen with his size and strength. One of the best power forwards the league has ever seen, he was that rare combination of size, skill, vision, and the one intangible he had more than anyone else – intensity. One look at his eyes was enough to scare opponents into submission, and if that didn’t do it, a single bone-crushing body check would.I originally designed this jersey to help Gillis sign the Sedins this past summer, and it was obviously the deciding factor in the end. It will work on Forsberg too. “Peter the Great” playing for the Canucks – please Mike, make it happen.
Shane O’Brien is Back!
On July 6th, Shane O’Brien signed a one year contract extension with the Vancouver Canucks, and while it’s no surprise that both sides came to an agreement, what is surprising is the hefty raise he will receive in the coming year. He goes from making $1.025 million to $1.6, which is a very healthy salary for a sixth defenseman who plays 14:55 minutes per night. If you’re wondering how this deal happened, the answer is below! We caught the negotiation between Mike Gillis and O’Brien’s agent, Larry Kelly, on our hidden Head To The Net microphone:
Receptionist: Mr. Gillis, Shane O’Brien’s agent is here to see you.
Mike Gillis: Yes, I was expecting him. Send him in, please.
Larry Kelly: Hi Mike, thanks for agreeing to meet.
MG: Who are you? Where’s J.P. Barry?
LK: J.P. doesn’t represent Shane, I do. My name is Larry Kelly.
MG: What? I thought J.P. represented everyone in the NHL now. This is the first time I’m negotiating with anyone other than him!
LK: Ok…
MG: Anyways, so why should I resign Shane? Is he Swedish?
LK: No… he’s not Swedish, he’s Canadian. Why?
MG: I only want Swedes! You know what they say: “The Germans know how to make cars, the English do fish and chips, and the Swedes make hockey players”
LK: They say that? Who says that?
MG: I don’t know, I think it’s the Red Wings’ slogan. Anything the Red Wings do is good enough for me! Did Shane ever play for them? Because I’m looking for more ex-Red Wings.
LK: Uh… no, he didn’t. But you know, O’Brien is an Irish name. He’s pretty much European.
MG: European eh? Sweden is in Europe, so that’s a good selling point. Now, what kind of salary are we talking about?
LK: Well here’s what I’m thinking: Ovechkin scored 56 goals this year and earns $9.53 million per year. That’s about $180,000 per goal. I figure a penalty minute should be worth just less than half a goal. Shane had 196 penalty minutes, so at $80,000 each, that’s about $1.6 million dollars.
MG: Wow, sounds like you’ve done your homework. I can’t argue with your math, since my numbers guy, Laurence Gillman, isn’t around to help me. But you’ve obviously thought this through, so I agree.
LK: You do?!?! I mean, yes, I’ve thought it through. So we have a deal then? For how many years?
MG: Uh… numbers guy isn’t here… how about one? Great! I’ll see you later! Good to have another European on the team! Nice working with you J.P.!
LK: Uh… yeah, you too Mike. See you later.
We've heard all the rumours about the Vancouver Canucks and the Sedins being a million dollars apart on contract negotiations, with the Canucks offering around $5.5M for each, and the twins' agent, J.P. Barry, asking $6.5M. Mike Gillis, Canucks GM, has been very receptive to new ideas regarding team management this year, so we here at "Head To The Net" thought we'd offer a few suggestions to help him bridge the gap. 
Exhibit A:
Following a rich history of constant jersey turnover, we propose the 4072nd jersey design in the team's 30 year history. Surely the Swedish twins would feel more at home wearing their national colours. As a bonus, Canucks marketing can advertise it as a colour not yet seen in the stands of GM Place, allowing fans to embrace the "Sea of Rainbow".
Exhibit B: Speaking of the team's home arena, surely General Motors would like the idea of selling something in 2009. Mike Gillis, can you convince the Aquelinis to make this happen? Ikea Place sounds nice, doesn't it?
Following along the theme of bringing Sweden to Vancouver, if the above two initiatives fail, we propose a fullproof Plan C. Presenting the Vancouver Canucks new ice scraping girls for the 2009/2010 season, complete with uniforms:
The Canucks held their post-season press conference with General Manager Mike Gillis and Head Coach Alain Vigneault yesterday, May 14th, and they delved into a number of hot topics. If you didn’t have a chance to watch, read on for a summary.
The Coaching Staff:
Gillis talked about the mixed expectations on the coaching staff following the previous season and stated that a 100 point season and division title were a great accomplishment. When asked if he intends to extend the contracts of the coaching staff, Gillis replied with a yes.
The new GM has proven to be a straight shooter who sticks to his word, but he's also shown that he plays things close to his chest. He is quite capable of surprising us at anytime, might he be wavering on his coaches?
Were the Canucks a Contender?
On being asked his thoughts on the playoff success of his team, the GM suggested that the Canucks had not played their best during the Chicago series. He stated that they never found their “A” game, but they were on the right track as they had held the lead in every game of the series.
Note: Gillis did state earlier that he intends to resign Alain Vigneult, but don’t his comments stating that the team never performed to it’s abilities say something about the coaching of the team? He basically affirmed that he thought his player personnel had the ability to go further… so if they didn’t play up to their abilities, whose fault was it?
The Sedins:
One year ago, when Mike Gillis was announced as the new GM of the Canucks, he claimed that he knew the Sedins were good players but wasn’t sure if he’d want to build a team around them. When asked about those comments yesterday, he said that it’s simply difficult to suggest building a team around players whose contracts are expiring in one year, with no guarantee that they will be resigned.
“I thought they were excellent players when I got here and I have an even higher opinion of them now,” he said, adding that he intends to sign them and he will be meeting with their agent J.P. Barry in a couple of weeks.
Roberto Luongo:
One reporter brought up the negative comments that have been thrown about since game 6, in which Luongo allowed 7 goals, and Gillis responded by saying that the idea of trading a world class player based on salary cap issues makes no sense. He cited that there are no salary cap issues on the team, and they work very hard to make sure of that.
Later he was asked if he intends to sign all three – Luongo and the twins – and if he believes he can fit the three under the cap, and he said, “I do believe I can.”
Mats Sundin:
Upon being asked about the future of Mats Sundin as a Canuck, Gillis mentioned that he had met with the individual players earlier in the day, including Sundin. He said that Sundin had been everything he asked for, in terms of being an example in the locker room, his professionalism, character, and integrity. On his and all of the players’ prospects of signing a new contract, Gillis said that he’s giving everyone a few weeks to decompress and they will be in touch thereafter.
Note: interesting that he didn’t mention his thoughts on Sundin’s actual on-ice play. Surely good character alone does not deserve a $10M contract.
During an interview on the Team 1040 radio station a day later, Gillis stated that he had told Sundin during their meeting that "He'd be welcome on any team I'm in charge of."
Steve Bernier
Earlier in the day, the Canucks resigned Steve Bernier for two additional years. Having just inked the deal, Mike Gillis obviously had many positive things to say. He commented on Bernier’s determination and character. On Bernier’s finishing ability, Gillis pointed out that it was Bernier who had put himself in those scoring positions, and that the Canucks would be working with him on his goal-scoring to help him relax in those situations in order to capitalize on the opportunities.
Injuries
As is always the case during the playoffs, injuries are completely hidden from the public. So which Canucks were playing hurt, and did it affect the series? This is the report we received:
Pavol Demitra will be undergoing shoulder surgery for a labrum tear. Maybe this is the reason he didn’t throw a body check during the playoffs. But that doesn’t explain his softness during the regular season.
Taylor Pyatt is having arthroscopic surgery on his knee, but it should be nothing serious, according to coach Vigneault.
Alex Burrows will be having surgery for a bone chip that has been bothering his wrist for some time.
Ryan Johnson will finally have a chance to heal his broken finger.
Welcome, Mike Gillis, to the end of the season for the Vancouver Canucks. I almost feel bad for you because you had no idea the type of heartbreak you were in for when you agreed to this job. I am writing this at 5 A.M. because I can’t sleep. I cannot shake that ridiculous third period out of my mind, and I know that wherever you are, you can’t sleep either. During Vancouver’s incredible winning streak in February, you were quoted on the Team 1040 saying, “The slowest group to come around is clearly the media because they look at everything as if it's 20 years ago and something is going to blow up and explode.”
The 2009 playoffs might just be the largest explosion in Canucks history thus far. Down by 2 goals midway through the second period, the team showed guts and determination, not only tying the game at three’s before the end of the period, but grabbing the lead quickly in the third. Adam Burish of the Hawks answered with a tying goal 2 minutes later, but once again the boys in blue showed how much they wanted it. Daniel Sedin scored what should have been the game winning goal with 7:45 left on the clock.
On a night when three scoring lines produced for the Canucks, the team’s best players were their best players with the Sedins scoring 3 points between them and Mats Sundin having a 2 point performance, the Canucks most important player and captain Roberto Luongo had a stinker. For all the goals allowed that could be blamed on others, there was one, Patrick Kane’s game-tying wraparound with seven minutes remaining, that no goalie should ever let in. And that was when we knew that this shootout wasn’t going to go our way.
In Vancouver, the season never just ends for our Canucks. No, they bring our hopes up higher every year and then they inevitably kick us in the teeth. Here’s a quick recap of the recent memories. In 2002, the eighth-seeded Vancouver Canucks roared into the playoffs as the hottest team in the NHL and stole two games from the Red Wings in Detroit. Finally, we thought, the Canucks were ready to take the next step after being swept from the playoffs in 2001 by the Colorado Avalanche, and boy were we excited. Midway through game three of the series with the Wings, Nik Lidstrom scored from centre ice on Dan Cloutier, and we watched as the Canucks disintegrated before our eyes, losing four games straight. And we sat there wondering, “What just happened?” In 2003 the seas parted for the Canucks as they drew the sixth seeded Minnesota Wild in the second round. Up 3-1 in the series, they realized that if they beat the Wild, they would face the seventh seeded Anaheim Ducks in the Conference finals. The bandwagon was hopping that year, but a 3-1 series lead was not too much for the Canucks to destroy, and destroy it they did. In game 7 of the series, the team held a 2-0 lead in the second period, only to lose the game and the series in the third. We, the fans, were stunned, again thinking, “What just happened?” Of course there is game seven of the Calgary Flames series in 2004, where Matt Cooke tied up the game with four seconds remaining on the clock to send the game to overtime. Alas, it was only to bring our hopes up and crush them once again in overtime, leaving us once again in disbelief, “Seriously, did that just happen?”
This year, the Vancouver Canucks may have had their best shot in their 39 year history. Scoring lines three deep, the most solid group of six defensemen in the NHL, and the goalie with god-gifted talent had been assembled and engineered for one thing: playoff success. They managed, yet again, to bring Vancouver fans’ hopes up, which is not easy considering what we’ve been through. We know better, we’re a weary bunch of pessimists, but they had us captivated. I must admit, I was wrong when I predicted that goalie Roberto Luongo would be dialed in. He seemed anything but, and considering he is the Canucks best player, hardest worker, and has had so many clutch performances, allowing 7 goals in a playoff game is a stunner.
Welcome to Vancouver, Mike. Beware of explosions.
